Oklahoma state representative Sally Kern gathered with some Holy Rollers in the rotunda of the Oklahoma legislature this last weekend and gave the world a “Proclamation For Morality,” sang some hymns and sacrificed a goat – or something. The gist of the piece (below) was a litany of quotes from our Founding Fathers about God and some spurious and fallacious statements about the connection between morality and gays and the economy (no, I’m not making that up, again you can read it at the end of my article). So what is the role of religion in government and in the Republican party? Sit back, relax, enjoy, and let the Beefboy do, what the Beefboy does best… and that’s break it right on down for you!

Sally Kern, and her desire to create law “by The Book”, is a relic of a bygone age. I keep hoping that Natural or Un-Natural Selection will rid us of the Religousaurus in politics, but we haven’t had a good extinction-level event yet. Let me say that I have no problem at all with Sally and her ilk delivering a “Proclamation For Morality” from her local church, or sacrificing goats for that matter, but when you bring that silliness into a legislative body, then you insult the Founding Fathers who fought so hard to keep us from having wizards, clerics and popes dictate law.

Frankly Sally, if you want religion in your government, then you should look into a move to Iran. They’re big on morality too! You’ll love it! Of course, you’ll have no freedom whatsoever and you’ll have no rights as a woman, but by Allah… you’ll have some fucking morality!!!

Meanwhile, let’s look at the bigger picture. Sally Kern is one reason (but only one!) that Republicans are stupid. Over the past nine months, starting with Bush and the Democratic Congress, and continuing with Obama, they have spent money like Paris Hilton on vacation in Paris, France. The nutsacks in charge have expanded the spending and the role of government like never before, rapidly creating a socialist utopia that will enslave and impoverish the United States in record time.

If you are in the opposition party (unfortunately we only have two legitimate parties), now is the time to be the voice of REASON. Republicans have an opportunity to gain ground by appealing to people who are upset at the explosion of government spending and a government who is creeping far outside of the limits imposed by our Constitution. Instead, you have Republican Governor Mark Sanford travelling to Venezuela to fuck hot Latinas, Republican Governor Sarah Palin quitting her job mid-stream because only “dead fish go with the flow” and Sally Kern wagging her finger at us because women are not wearing burkas in strip clubs. Sally and the gang are focused on bullshit and other Republican leaders are doing everything under the sun to undermine the most important message.

Republican stupidity is stunning! You’d think after getting their pious ass reamed in the congressional elections of 2006, or the presidential elections of 2008, that the GOP would consider dropping bullshit like “Proclamations of Morality” and try to appeal to people who want LESS GOVERNMENT! Some people never learn and I could care less if Republicans ever get in power again, as long as we get a viable third party who can focus on what’s important instead of devising new ways for government to spend my money or tell me what to do.

And finally, to Sally and her supporters, I leave you with the words of Jesus, who said, “Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s.”

Dig it! Amen.

- The Beefboy

Oh, and Sally, I’m also making you the Beefboy’s Nutsack of the Moment. Congratulations!

SALLY KERN’S OKLAHOMA CITIZEN’S PROCLAMATION FOR MORALITY

We the People of Oklahoma, Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to
secure and perpetuate the blessing of Liberty; to secure just and rightful Government; to promote
our mutual Welfare and Happiness, do establish this proclamation and call upon the people of the
great State of Oklahoma, and our fellow Patriots in these United States of America who look to
the Lord for guidance, to acknowledge the need for a national awakening of righteousness in our
land.

WHEREAS, “It is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the Principles upon
which Freedom can securely stand” (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, “We have no government armed with power capable of contending with
human passions unbridled by Religion and Morality” (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, “Our Constitution was made only for a Moral and Religious people” (John
Adams); and

WHEREAS, “We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the
power of government…but upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity
of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to
the Ten Commandments of God” (James Madison); and

WHEREAS, “Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that
belongs to us by the laws of God (Benjamin Franklin); and

WHEREAS, “God who gave us life gave us liberty and can the liberties of a nation be
thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the
people that these liberties are of the Gift of God” (Thomas Jefferson); and

WHEREAS, “Whether any free government can be permanent, where the public
worship of God, and the support of Religion, constitute no part of the policy or duty of the state”
(Joseph Story); and

WHEREAS, “We hold sacred the rights of conscience, and promise to the people…the
free and undisturbed exercise of their religion” (Roger Sherman); and

WHEREAS, “This great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians”
(Patrick Henry); and

WHEREAS, “When you…exercise the right of voting for public officers, let it be
impressed upon your mind that God commands you to choose just men who will rule in the fear of
God” (Noah Webster); and

WHEREAS, “The principles of genuine Liberty and of wise laws and administrations
are to be drawn from the Bible” (Noah Webster); and

WHEREAS, the people of Oklahoma have a strong tradition of reliance upon the
Creator of the Universe; and

WHEREAS, we believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national
moral crisis; and

WHEREAS, this nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion,
pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and
many other forms of debauchery; and

WHEREAS, alarmed that the Government of the United States of America is forsaking
the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built; and

WHEREAS, grieved that the Office of the president of these United States has refused
to uphold the long held tradition of past presidents in giving recognition to our National Day of
Prayer; and

WHEREAS, deeply disturbed that the Office of the president of these United States
disregards the biblical admonitions to live clean and pure lives by proclaiming an entire month to
an immoral behavior;

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned elected officials
of the people of Oklahoma, religious leaders and citizens of the State of Oklahoma, appealing to
the Supreme Judge of the world, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma
and of these United States, rests upon the Principles of Religion and Morality as put forth in the
HOLY BIBLE; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, believers in the One True God and His
only Son, call upon all to join with us in recognizing that “Blessed is the Nation whose God is the
Lord,” and humbly implore all who love Truth and Virtue to live above reproach in the sight of God
and man with a firm reliance on the leadership and protection of Almighty God; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our
Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment,
and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great
sin.

Signed on the second day of July in the year of our Lord Christ Two Thousand and Nine.

Jessica Alba, why the fuck did you paste shark posters in downtown Oklahoma City? Are you aware that OKC is landlocked about 6000 miles away from the open sea? Are you aware that defacing billboards for one cause (the United Way) for your cause (dwindling shark population) destroys any sympathy you might have gained?

Also, the Beefboy must ask, why would you have your photo taken next to your crime and then blog about it? Jessica, do any of your decisions on that evening sound like something a sane adult would do?

For all of those reasons, Jessica Alba, you are the Beefboy’s Nutsack of the Moment.

One last note. If you weren’t a hot Hollywood celebrity, would the cops have let you off without a charge? I have to wonder what would happen if the Beefboy went and did the same exact stunt right now, what would happen.

As I said Jessica, you’re hot, so here’s some photos to demonstrate why we put up with your idiocy, which also makes you the Beefboy’s Chick of the Moment!

I just attended a local Tea Party at the Capital building. I have no idea how many people were there, but it numbered in the thousands, and was even growing larger as I left (some of us have to go to work). You will undoubtedly be told the make-up and tone of these Tea Parties by people with counter agendas (and many of which were not even there), but I’m going to tell you how it REALLY was.

The people at this event looked like the same people who would attend an Independence Day celebration. All ages, creeds and colors were gathered to express their sincere but peaceful distress at how the government was spending our money and leveraging not only our future, but the future of our children. I’ve never seen so many American flags, state flags, and handmade signs in one place. People were happy to be a part of something important and feel empowered, maybe for the first time in their lives. There were a lot of hot chicks out there too!

Left wing pansies, government bureaucrats and their allies in old media are working hard today to craft a message that puts the Tea Parties and associated movements in a box that either minimizes, demonizes or deflects the power and the purpose of these gatherings. You can expect hardcore liberal organs and elitists to throw everything against the wall to see what sticks. They are running scared.

To combat the Tea Parties, it’s important for them to not attack the group, but the individuals in the group, and make the participants feel ignorant or alone. For those of you, who joined the Beefboy at these protests, prepare to be called a racist, or an extremist. Prepare to be painted as crazy or dangerous. Prepare to be described as stupid, or a redneck, or a follower. They will take groups of several thousand and find the one person who is wearing a beer hat and a T-shirt that says, “Jesus Built My Hotrod” and pretend like he is representative of the entire group. I saw the group. They were everything from the poor to the wealthy, young and old, and all were ordinary hopeful people. They were the people who those in power have forgotten. They were the people with no lobbying groups. They were the Invisibles.

Make no mistake… the Tea Parties scare the shit out of the establishment. They are soiling their low-rise no-pleat designer pantaloons at the prospect of regular people getting together and expressing their displeasure at ALL of government. This is not about Republicans or Democrats and certainly not about any one person in power. This is about a government that has grown too big and too disconnected to We… The People.

The Tea Parties are comprised of the same people who the Beefboy speaks to daily. Be strong and don’t let the frightened elite smear your good name. We are correct, and we are legion. Together we can make a difference. The best of America is made up of the good men, women and children that I saw today. It’s those people that our Founding Fathers and predecessors fought and died for.

When the group broke out into a spontaneous chant of “Freedom!… Freedom!… Freedom!…” I’ve never been more proud to be an American. It felt like Thomas Jefferson gave the Beefboy a high five!