Hitfix.com has reported that Universal hired Bryan Singer to do another re-boot of Battlestar Gallactica. Bryan Singer was just three months away from his version of Battlestar shortly before September 11th, 2001 and executives at Sci-fi (SyFy) were reluctant to launch a series that started with a devastating sneak attack. Now Universal wants Singer to produce and maybe direct his own version for the big screen.

I’m not sure where this idea came from but there are so many things wrong with this, particularly right now, that I’m not sure if I have the time to quantify all of them.

First off, the best version of Battlestar Gallactica just wrapped up. You’ll never top it, and you’ll never get close. Yes, fans of the original series were cheesed-off because it was not a faithful rendition of the original version… which is exactly why it was so much fucking better! Do you really want to resurrect a little boy running around a battleship with a fuzzy robot dog during a time of war? Do you really want episodes where Starbuck has a gun fight with a Cylon in a western town? Seriously?!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… the original Battlestar Gallactica got it’s re-imagining… it was called Galactica 80 and it sucked Daggit balls! ‘Nuff said!

Next… speaking of sucking Daggit balls, Bryan Singer is the new Franchise Killer (Joel Schumacher, the director of Batman and Robin and Batman Forever was the original Franchise Killer)! Singer left a successful X-Men movie franchise series to create the new Superman franchise series AND DESTROYED THEM BOTH IN THE PROCESS! Singer’s brilliant “vision” of Superman was a cuckolded pansy who never threw a punch and couldn’t say the line “Truth, Justice and the American Way!” The Man of Steel was reduced to using his x-ray vision to watch Lois get boned by some random fucking nutsack!

Bryan, you can take your Superman and cram him right up your ass! I think turning an American icon into a gelding is tantamount to treason!

I’ve got a suggestion for Singer and everyone else at Universal… do Battlestar Gallactica, your wallet, and our sanity a favor, and let it go. I refuse to believe that the human race has come to a point in our history where we’ve used up all the good movie ideas. Find something new to do with your time and money. Come up with a NEW CONCEPT. Is that too much to ask? If you don’t have any new ideas, then step aside for the fucking throng of creative people who have something fresh to offer.

What happened to the man who produced and directed The Usual Suspects? Find THAT Bryan Singer, get a new concept and then you’ve got something to be excited about.