Category Archives: Movies

More Photos and Posters from Tron Legacy

We’ve still got a year to wait for “Tron Legacy” (December 17, 2010) but Disney has released some more promotional material for the film.

According to Disney, the new movie “is a 3D high-tech adventure set in a digital world that’s unlike anything ever captured on the big screen. Sam Flynn (Garrett Hedlund), the tech-savvy 27-year-old son of Kevin Flynn (Bridges), looks into his father’s disappearance and finds himself pulled into the digital world of Tron, where his father has been living for 25 years. Along with Kevin’s loyal confidant Quorra (Olivia Wilde), father and son embark on a life-and-death journey of escape across a visually-stunning cyber universe that has become far more advanced and exceedingly dangerous.”

Do you think they can pull off a sequel as cool as the original? Give me your opinion below.

Photos by Walt Disney Company

Prince of Persia Movie Trailer

Okay, this seriously looks fucking cool…

Tell me what you think.

Prince of Persia

Directed by: Mike Newell

Written by:
Jordan Mechner

Jake Gyllenhaal,
Gemma Arterton,
Ben Kingsley,
Alfred Molina
Music by: Harry Gregson-Williams

Release Date:
May 28, 2010

Photos: Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page Kiss

The latest issue of Marie Clair magazine has a photoshoot that features Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore locking lips! They are promoting their new movie about rollergirls called “Whip It”. Photos and trailer are below.

Robert Rodriguez to Produce Predator Movie

predator-rodriguez20th Century Fox has followed the announcement of Ridley Scott directing a new Alien film by attaching Sin City’s Robert Rodriguez to a new $40 million Predator film. Rodriguez will produce and is writing the film with Alex Litvak and Michael Finch. Nimród Antal, who directed Vacancy is set to helm the new film.

After the last two Aliens Versus Predator films, it looks like Fox executives have finally woken up and realized that insulting fans is no way to make filthy cash! Rodriguez is a brilliant choice and could actually make the best Predator film yet. Antal did a solid job on Vacancy, so Predators is in good hands all around.

Predators is currently scheduled for a July 7, 2010 release.

Bryan Singer Eyes New Battlestar Gallactica Film has reported that Universal hired Bryan Singer to do another re-boot of Battlestar Gallactica. Bryan Singer was just three months away from his version of Battlestar shortly before September 11th, 2001 and executives at Sci-fi (SyFy) were reluctant to launch a series that started with a devastating sneak attack. Now Universal wants Singer to produce and maybe direct his own version for the big screen.

I’m not sure where this idea came from but there are so many things wrong with this, particularly right now, that I’m not sure if I have the time to quantify all of them.

First off, the best version of Battlestar Gallactica just wrapped up. You’ll never top it, and you’ll never get close. Yes, fans of the original series were cheesed-off because it was not a faithful rendition of the original version… which is exactly why it was so much fucking better! Do you really want to resurrect a little boy running around a battleship with a fuzzy robot dog during a time of war? Do you really want episodes where Starbuck has a gun fight with a Cylon in a western town? Seriously?!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… the original Battlestar Gallactica got it’s re-imagining… it was called Galactica 80 and it sucked Daggit balls! ‘Nuff said!

Next… speaking of sucking Daggit balls, Bryan Singer is the new Franchise Killer (Joel Schumacher, the director of Batman and Robin and Batman Forever was the original Franchise Killer)! Singer left a successful X-Men movie franchise series to create the new Superman franchise series AND DESTROYED THEM BOTH IN THE PROCESS! Singer’s brilliant “vision” of Superman was a cuckolded pansy who never threw a punch and couldn’t say the line “Truth, Justice and the American Way!” The Man of Steel was reduced to using his x-ray vision to watch Lois get boned by some random fucking nutsack!

Bryan, you can take your Superman and cram him right up your ass! I think turning an American icon into a gelding is tantamount to treason!

I’ve got a suggestion for Singer and everyone else at Universal… do Battlestar Gallactica, your wallet, and our sanity a favor, and let it go. I refuse to believe that the human race has come to a point in our history where we’ve used up all the good movie ideas. Find something new to do with your time and money. Come up with a NEW CONCEPT. Is that too much to ask? If you don’t have any new ideas, then step aside for the fucking throng of creative people who have something fresh to offer.

What happened to the man who produced and directed The Usual Suspects? Find THAT Bryan Singer, get a new concept and then you’ve got something to be excited about.

Ridley Scott to Direct Alien 5

A companion-gripe to the focus of director James Cameron’s career over the past decade (read what I said about James Cameron), is the path of director Ridley Scott, who gave us two of the greatest sci-fi films of all time (Alien and Blade Runner), then chased after an Oscar for nearly thirty years. I don’t expect anyone to do one genre all the time, in fact I wish they wouldn’t, but when you helped define a genre, it would be nice if you’d visit there once and a while. I’m reminded of photographer Helmut Newton who spent his entire life taking photos of hot fetish women, then wanted us to get excited about his landscape photos late in life. Hey, if you need a break, fine, but don’t expect us to be excited by it.

alien11Variety magazine has reported that Ridley Scott is returning to his roots to resurrect the Alien franchise that has been trashed by a couple of run-ins with Predators. Alien 5 will be a prequel to the first Alien movie. It will be co-produced with brother Tony Scott and written by Jon Spaihts, who apparently was instrumental in pitching the concept to Ridley Scott. Needless to say, I’m excited beyond words to see what Scott does with Alien 5.

Perhaps even bigger news is the explosion of sci-fi scripts from Spaiths, who has ZERO listed writing credits on, yet has this Alien 5 film in production, plus a screenplay for Keanu Reeves’ “Shadow 19″ and space journey epic “Passengers.” Fox hired Spaiths to rewrite Timur Bekmambetov’s project “The Darkest Hour”, Disney hired him to write “Children of Mars” and will also write “St. George and the Dragon.”

Jon Spaihts better be buying Red Bull by the case to keep up with that schedule!

James Cameron’s Avatar Trailer

avatar2If you’ve read The Beefboy Rants for a while you know that I’ve been riding James Cameron for making Titanic then taking a dirt nap for twelve years while he boned model Suzi Amis and did deep sea dives and put his vacation footage on screen. So, it’s nice to see a return to FILMMAKING after a decade-plus absence.

Why do I care if that guy wants to sit on his millions of dollars and slam models for a living? Simply because, before Cameron cursed us with Titanic, he was instrumental in moving sci-fi forward three times in the 80′s and 90′s. Terminator forever changed the action and horror genres by giving us the multiple “death” scenes of the villain and taking us on a wild ride in the process. With Aliens, Cameron took a horror franchise and made it into one of the best action films of all time. Directors are still copying the scenes from Aliens after nearly 25 years. Finally, Cameron moved both sci-fi and the action film forward again with Terminator 2. People forget how amazing and revolutionary (and expensive) the morphing liquid metal Terminator was at the time. So excuse me for getting upset that someone with that track record made a sub-par romance movie for 13 year-old girls, and then fucked off for half a generation.

So… finally (FINALLY) Cameron returns to sci-fi movie making with the much anticipated Avatar. Friday night was “Avatar Night” at several IMAX theaters where the 3-D experience was in full effect with a number of clips from the film. Reaction is mixed, although it seems mostly positive. From looking at the trailer (below) I have two thoughts. It’s tough to pull off a realistic looking computer animated character who runs around with flesh and blood actors, and I think we’re still not there yet. Even Cameron can’t pull it off.

With that said, Avatar looks like an incredibly ambitious film and potentially a lot of fun if you can just get lost in the moment (most people who have seen the 3-D version say the experience is immersive). We’ll know for sure later this year when Avatar is released. Until then, enjoy the trailer, and tell me what you think below.

Movie Review: District 9

District9PosterIt was just a few days ago that I was lamenting the loss of the socially aware and poignant science fiction films of the late 60’s and 70’s. I felt that Moon was a welcome change from the soulless CGI/3-D effects extravaganzas that we have been treated to lately. Then I saw District 9. Suddenly, we have not only an anomaly, but a Movement!

District 9 is set in an alternate history where an alien spacecraft stalls over Johannesburg South Africa in the 1980’s. These aliens are not here to make contact or take over, they’re just lost! The nations of the world decide to house them in slums and assign a company called Multi National United to deal with the alien problem. After 20 years in District 9, the populace of Johannesburg wants the aliens as far away as possible and it’s up to MNU to relocate them. The task of removing the aliens is a mousy desk jockey named Wikus Van De Merwe (played by Sharlto Copley), who is oblivious to the tragedy around him.

District 9 relies a lot on the performance of Sharlto Copley, whose portrayal of Wikus is multi-faceted. As the protagonist, it’s difficult to like Wikus at times. He is weak and stupid and impulsive. It’s those characteristics that are played up throughout the movie and one of the aspects that makes District 9 such a compelling movie.

Director Neill Blomkamp, whose history is in special effects for Peter Jackson, has crafted a unique blend of handheld documentary-style footage that gradually gives way to standard storytelling. The early footage does an excellent job of setting up the situation and fully introducing you to Wikus and the aliens. Blomkamp’s experience with special effects is on full display with both the aliens and their weaponry. For a film that was made for around $30 million dollars, the effects are particularly tight, so much so, that you have to wonder why they couldn’t get Wolverine’s claws to look right in a much larger production.

It’s too easy to give kudos to Blomkamp for the effects though. The direction and editing is very sharp in District 9. The screenplay creates a highly plausible world and manages to both be an indictment on the human race, while also showing that good people can emerge from a bad situation. District 9 is smart and exciting. The pace is consistent and engaging. Plus, once we see those alien weapons in use, it’s literally a blast!

District 9 is a much bigger film that I expected, and far more exciting. While it may suffer box office because it doesn’t have any big name actors, that turns out to be one of the most powerful aspects of the movie. District 9 is not a typical predictable Hollywood offering, and that’s something that everyone should support. As a straight science-fiction action movie, it’s a great ride, but the underlying questions about the nature of man, about subjugation of the poor and the power of the individual make District 9 something truly unique.

Movie Review: Moon

moon-movie-posterDirector Duncan Jones sat down with actor Sam Rockwell and reminisced about the sci-fi films of the late 60’s and 70’s. The result of that meeting was the film Moon. You can see the influences of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Silent Running, Soylent Green and others throughout the film, and yet Moon stands on its own quite well.

I’ve complained for years that we have lost the high-concept, socially-aware science fiction films of the 70’s, replaced by soulless special effects extravaganzas. Somewhere along the way, Hollywood forgot how to make a good small sci-fi film (of course there are exceptions, but they are rare). Moon is a very welcome return to that era, but the subject matter is very rooted in modern times.

Sam Rockwell plays “Sam Bell” an astronaut rapidly nearing the end of a three-year stint alone on the Moon. He’s homesick and mostly disconnected from Earth due to a satellite problem that occurred right after he arrived. An accident changes everything on the base and that plot twist has both you and Sam wondering what’s going on until the end.

While there are a few bit parts (and Kevin Spacey plays a talking computer like HAL), this is basically a one-man film, and Sam Rockwell does a great job with his performance. The direction of Moon is fairly straight-forward, but good and tight. Duncan Jones doesn’t try to outshine his own movie and that makes Moon even stronger. The soundtrack is also minimal but powerful, by the brilliant composer Clint Mansell, who is rapidly becoming a favorite.

What I like most about Moon are some things I can’t talk about because I’d spoil the movie for someone who hasn’t seen it, and I’d like to encourage you to see the movie. Among other things, the film deals with loneliness, the sanctity of life, your purpose in life and the morality of requiring one person to sacrifice for the greater good of society. I went to see this film with a friend and we had a great conversation afterward about these issues, and about the twists in the film. Any film that gives me that opportunity is truly high art.

The pacing of this film is similar to the films of the 70’s too, which I appreciate but some people will deplore, so I’m not suggesting that everyone run out and see Moon. However, if you miss the great science fiction films of the past and would like to see more smart sci-fi films, then seek out and support Moon.

As an aside, I’d like to point out that Duncan Jones’ next project is what he calls a “love letter” to Blade Runner. This guy is speaking my language!

Tron Legacy High Definition Trailer Concept Art and Info

Tron LegacyI think it’s funny that just last week I made a mention of Tron when Walter Cronkite passed away. Now I have something more delicious to report. The buzz over the Tron sequel has reached a high pitch after a big push at this week’s Comicon and the release of a high definition trailer. Actually what Disney is giving us is more akin to a scene that was used to demonstrate what they can do with the Tron world now.

Look, I have no idea if Tron Legacy is going to be as much fun as the original Tron, and it most likely won’t be, but I can’t help being drawn back to my youth when I look at the footage they have released. Looks like both Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner have returned to their roles, and that’s a good sign. The STYLE of Tron is definitely in full effect, and that means that even if I’m unsatisfied with the new story, I’ll probably gobble up all the effects like I’m a Beef Lad again.

So, here’s all the goodies that I can find out there right now. There are a couple of websites, the official Disney site, and a viral site called Flynn Lives. There are some conceptual photos out there and, of course, that very cool trailer.

As Garth Marenghi says, “Enjoy.”

Official Tron Legacy Website
Flynn Lives Website

Here’s the links to the trailers from the Flynn Lives website:

Quicktime: 640 x 268 Download
Quicktime: 480 x 200 Download

Windows Media: 640 x 268 Download
Windows Media: 480 x 200 Download

High Definition: 1920 x 800 Download
High Definition: 1280 x 532 Download
High Definition: 852 x 352 Download

iPod: Download

Needless to say, all of these goodies, besides my own comments, are owned by Disney.

Twilight Offers New Vampires – Now with No Penis!

twilight_twilightRemember when vampires were the quintessential exemplar of manhood gone wild? They were dangerous, powerful, sexual and scary. So how have we screwed up one of the most enduring representations of male power? Sit back, relax, enjoy and let the Beefboy do, what the Beefboy does best… and that’s break it right on down for you!

In the new tradition of destroying anything even remotely masculine, I’d like to introduce… the vampires from Twilight! With Twilight, we’ve managed to remove all that in favor of political correctness and warm fuzzy emo bullshit.

The vampires from Twilight are angst-ridden, vegetarian, baseball-playing pansies. The Twilight vampires walk around during the day, live in a big metrosexual eco-house and eternally attend High School! Riddle me this Batman: If you were a vampire, who was a century old, and you eternally hopped from one High School to another, what does that make you? Cool? Or a fucking centennial pervert?

And instead of burning to dust, how does a vampire in Twilight react to direct sunlight? They sparkle!


The protagonist male vampire is prettier than his human female counterpart and wears twice as much lipstick! He can’t even kiss her without recoiling in terror! And just to make sure that he plays to every woman’s fantasy of the pussy-whipped gelding, the icing on the cake is that he reads minds. Don’t worry ladies, this vampire will remember your birthday (and give you the perfect gift), he’ll know immediately what’s wrong in a fight and he’ll take out the fucking trash without being asked!

Poppycock! Or more like… NO COCK!

The full and total emasculation of vampires in Twilight is akin to dressing Darth Vader in a pink tutu or giving Shaft erectile dysfunction! Anyone involved in the creation and propagation of any incarnation of Twilight should be arrested and tried for assassination of the male mystique.

The thirteen year old girls who made the Twilight books and movie so popular are going to wish their vampires had balls when they grow up.

Dig it!

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