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The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-11-01

The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-11-01

paranormal-activity-poster

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Nutsack of the Moment: Richard Heene – Balloon Boy’s Dad

Nutsack of the Moment: Richard Heene – Balloon Boy’s Dad

RichardHenneLast week, authorities say Richard Heene, and others, created a hoax involving his entire family pretending that his son was trapped inside a weather balloon. Of course Richard Heene is a nutsack, as well as any of the adults involved in this hoax, but the reason he is a nutsack goes far beyond creating the hoax. The reason Heene and his co-conspirators are the Beefboy’s Nutsacks of the Moment are because he tied up emergency services, courted worldwide media attention, committed multiple crimes and put his family at risk… all because he craved fame.

In fact, I see no difference between high school losers who literally kill for media attention and Richard Henne who wanted to be a household name so bad that he would do anything and risk anything just to be famous. He should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, locked up and forgotten forever.

In a society that is increasingly filled with lazy people who expect recognition for doing absolutely nothing, Richard Henne is the Poster Boy of Irrelevance. Instead of being interesting, or talented, or working hard, he chooses to take a short cut with no regard for who he hurts in the process: only fame and egotism matter. Richard Heene is nearly the most vile and contemptible piece of shit that exists.

The only thing worse are those in government who do the same.

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The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-10-25

The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-10-25

barack-obama-fairey-hope

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The Beefboy Hates Ties

The Beefboy Hates Ties

Jennifer Aniston looks better in a tie than I do.

Jennifer Aniston looks better in a tie than I do.

I recently had an occasion where I had to wear a dress shirt and tie for a few hours. Every time I wear a tie I can’t help but think about all of those sci-fi movies and TV shows where everyone just wears a plain jump suit. Han Solo’s outfit didn’t even have buttons! In the past, men used to wear stupid fucking frilly shirts, an ascot, a jacket and a wig. A WIG!

It seems like to me we’re somewhere between the Victorian Age and Star Trek: The Next Generation on dress codes. Yes, styles in general have calmed down. People don’t dress up to get on a flight anymore; they mostly don’t dress up for church or to go out to eat. Even the workplace has slowly acquiesced to The Casual Day. However, one superfluous item has remained omnipresent, even now. That item is the tie.

Please tell the Beefboy what purpose the tie serves! It’s a strip of fabric you wench around your neck. It doesn’t add any protection, or warmth and it does nothing for the integrity of your shirt. It’s just a fucking strip of material that hangs there. Get it?!!

Fashion evolution from the wig wearing days has eliminated a lot of bullshit, but for some reason the tie lives on. Women don’t have to wear a tie (so much for equality), so they are out of this discussion. As a man, I can tell you that wearing a tie is most closely described as wearing a noose around your neck all day. It constricts your movement and your breathing. It’s hot. But mostly, it’s just useless.

Then again, while wearing my tie, I walked out of a building and a particularly fine young flatbelly caught my eye, smiled and asked how I was doing today. They treated me totally different at the bank too. So, okay, it’s a shortcut to respect. People figure that if you’re wearing a strip of fabric for no reason, then you must be holding some position of power. But then again, it also has the potential to propagate a lie about your stature. Wouldn’t it be better if we judged people by their accomplishments instead of their ability to put strips of fabric around their neck?

After all, Captain Picard wore that silly two-tone jumpsuit and everyone respected his authority just fine.

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The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-10-18

The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-10-18

halo-cloud-over-moscow

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The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-10-11

The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-10-11

fred-armisen-as-barack-obama-on-saturday-night-live

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Penthouse Pet: Alisha King (Photos)

Penthouse Pet: Alisha King (Photos)





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The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-10-04

The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-10-04

BRITAIN FOSSIL - Anchiornis huxleyi - The Four Winged Dinosaur

BRITAIN FOSSIL - Anchiornis huxleyi - The Four Winged Dinosaur

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The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-09-27

The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-09-27

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(Video) Bikini Barista Girls Put on Nude Show

(Video) Bikini Barista Girls Put on Nude Show

Look, I don’t see what the problem is here. You can get a whip cream show AND a cappuccino in the same place?!! These girls shouldn’t be fined, they should get the fucking Nobel Peace Prize!

At least this place justifies the cost of a double latte!

 

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(Video) Save The Boobs!  Breast Cancer Awareness – The Best Public Service Ad EVER!

(Video) Save The Boobs! Breast Cancer Awareness – The Best Public Service Ad EVER!

Congratulations, and imma let you finish… but Save The Boobs is the best public service advertisement of all time!

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The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-09-20

The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Update for 2009-09-20

Megan Fox

Megan Fox

  • Up to two million march to US Capitol to protest against Obama's spending in 'tea-party' demonstration | Mail Online http://bit.ly/14TBI4 #
  • Gangster may have spread HIV through sex, tattoos | tattoos, apple, through – Local News – Victorville Daily Press http://bit.ly/12LlvG #
  • Reuters Health: More than 40,000 Japanese aged 100 or over – We need to eat and exercise more like the Japanese – http://bit.ly/2U8Bc2 #
  • Who sends a FAX any more? Seriously, if you can't generate or read a PDF file from an email, you need to hang it up. You're irrelevant! #
  • Photos: Toxic Goddess – Modern Living Update | Dirk Hooper http://bit.ly/Nh8vz #
  • Kanye West ruins Taylor Swift's big MTV acceptance speech as he storms on stage | Mail Online http://bit.ly/gnCys #
  • News Headlines – Publicist: Patrick Swayze dies at 57 : Townhall.com http://bit.ly/14ftwv #
  • Bin Laden calls Obama a Neo Conservative! – http://bit.ly/M6tBc #
  • U.S. Senate denies funds for ACORN! | Politics | Reuters http://bit.ly/wHENj #
  • Jupiter had temporary moon for 12 years – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/KtD8f #
  • Aimee Louise Sword Raped Son She Gave Up For Adoption: Police (VIDEO) http://bit.ly/DgzsV #
  • Press Accuracy Rating Hits Two Decade Low: Overview – Pew Research Center for the People & the Press http://bit.ly/J5yZQ #
  • Jay Leno asked the question I wanted to ask Kanye. What would your mother think about what you did? To his credit, Kanye seemed contrite. #
  • Obama calls Kanye 'jackass' – Patrick Gavin http://bit.ly/Voe3V #
  • FBI, NYPD Raid Queens Apartments For Explosives – wcbstv.com http://bit.ly/PRbuT #
  • WWE's Linda McMahon prepares Senate run – TheHill.com http://bit.ly/2bjwyj #
  • House guidelines for Presidential put-downs – Glenn Thrush – POLITICO.com http://bit.ly/N8ohf #
  • ABC News Anchor Charlie Gibson on ACORN Scandal: ‘I Don’t Even Know About It’ http://bit.ly/JJAGO #
  • Audio: Obama Calls Kanye a 'Jackass' – TMZ.com http://bit.ly/i5JOH #
  • Megan Fox Branded 'Dumb-As-A-Rock' And 'Classless' By 'Transformers' Crew, Michael Bay Responds http://bit.ly/12kKd1 #
  • Obama Plans Record Five Back-to-Back TV Interviews Sunday – FIVE!!! – Please. Someone get our President a Reality Show! http://bit.ly/p2J2U #
  • Obama supports extending Patriot Act provisions – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/c1MWb #
  • Marvel Vs. Disney: Two Very Different Americas http://bit.ly/1pKI3q #
  • ABC: Obama Critics 'Driven By Refusal to Accept Black President'; NBC Trumpets Carter's Racism Charges | http://bit.ly/1ENSvH #
  • Rate This Chick: Amy | The Couch Pirates http://bit.ly/d3wc8 #
  • FBI unit set for more anti-terror raids in Queens; Fears of Madrid-style subway bombings – sources http://bit.ly/thH3K #
  • Dem Senator Warns of 'Big, Big Tax' on Middle Class in Baucus Bill – The Note http://bit.ly/5CZ8V #
  • Obama Admin: Cap And Trade Could Cost Families $1,761 A Year – Taking Liberties – CBS News http://bit.ly/VwbfC #
  • Naked man riding motorcycle charged with DUI – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/10rNQy #
  • Kansas couple gets robbed while having sex in trash bin – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/JzpzK #
  • British men flock to "guybrow" groomings! – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/aUp1p #
  • White House collects Web users' data without notice – Washington Times http://bit.ly/13X6RL #
  • Abercrombie sues Beyonce: fragrance plan stinks – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/478dRr #
  • Embattled ACORN orders independent investigation – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/Wd1GT #
  • Johns Hopkins Samurai Sword Incident, Man Kills Intruder With Sword (VIDEO) http://bit.ly/YQVX1 #
  • Watch: "Keep Fucking That Chicken" says News Anchor Ernie Anastos, Curses On Air (VIDEO) http://bit.ly/yXYC2 #
  • House votes to deny all federal funds for ACORN – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/OOvLL #
  • "Venezuela's hugely successful beauty factory is feeling the global pinch" http://bit.ly/pF1kV #
  • Coldest place in the solar system? The Moon! Even colder than Pluto. – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/cb5UI #
  • Dueling 'racist' claims defuse once powerful word – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/2SUBpb #
  • Teen birth rates highest in most religious states – Kids and parenting- msnbc.com http://bit.ly/2Fqzo #
  • Iran Can Make Nuclear Bomb: Atomic Watchdog http://bit.ly/HPZjB #
  • Implanted Tooth Helps Blind U.S. Woman Recover Sight http://bit.ly/2iVlFk #
  • Big 3 Evening Newscasts Stuck at Low Summer Levels, Down Steeply Since Late January | NewsBusters.org http://bit.ly/GvYUt #
  • Obama: Legalize illegal immigrants to get them health care – Washington Times http://bit.ly/13htU1 #
  • Rate This Chick: Amy | The Couch Pirates http://bit.ly/d3wc8 #
  • Obama: Health care anger not motivated by his race – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/2E4i5A #
  • Iranian president raises stakes against Israel – "This regime (Israel) will not last long." – Reuters http://bit.ly/14WGwh #
  • "FCC Proposal on Internet Bandwidth a Boon for Consumers and Silicon Valley, Blow to Telecoms" – WSJ.com http://bit.ly/44EDs #
  • Cursive may be a fading skill, but so what? – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/2widNQ #
  • Playfulness – Can Getting Experimental Lead To Orgasm? http://bit.ly/1hlyjP #
  • Video: Susan Sarandon's Daughter's Stripper Role: "I Was Quite Banged Up," It's "Empowering" http://bit.ly/Y7flB #
  • Marquee Rapist Caught On Tape Abducting Unconscious Woman (VIDEO) http://bit.ly/3kCHch #
  • (Video) – Biden On Carter: Opposition To Obama "Not Racially Based" http://bit.ly/IuKft #
  • Andy Richter Kicks Wolf Blitzer's ASS on "Jeopardy"!!! (Video) http://bit.ly/1yj331 #
  • "Americans who sell $1 items at garage sales risk fines of up to $15 million, thanks to new government laws." http://bit.ly/jaTZq #
  • 9 year-old boy gets sex change | The Sun |News http://bit.ly/Dm79o #
  • UN report says Swine flu could kill millions, pandemic results in anarchy unless western world pays for antiviral drugs http://bit.ly/1IkXm1 #

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Gladiators of the Moment: Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe

Gladiators of the Moment: Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe

James O'Keefe and Hannah Giles

James O'Keefe and Hannah Giles

Over the past seven years I’ve had a lot of fun giving you the Beefboy’s Nutsack of the Moment, where I point out individuals or groups that do something worthy of derision. We are experiencing difficult times, whether it’s the economy, terrorism, government encroachment on our freedoms or a host of other issues, we need people who stand against tyranny, corruption and fear. From this point forward I will recognize individuals or groups that elevate our existence in some way, and I will call them The Beefboy’s Gladiators of the Moment.

Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe have become The Beefboy’s Gladiators of the Moment by single-handedly devising and executing a grand scale plan to take down a massive organization, corrupt to the core and funded by your tax dollars. Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) has been in the news for the past two years for numerous nationwide charges for falsifying voter registration. More recently, ACORN has been in the news as the target of Giles and O’Keefe, who dressed like a pimp and a hooker and caught ACORN’s corruption on video in multiple cities (including Baltimore, D.C. and Brooklyn).

Due, almost solely to their efforts, ACORN has been stripped of their involvement with the 2010 American Census and stands to lose billions in dollars of funding from the government. The bulls-eye is squarely on ACORN (finally) and it’s thanks to Gladiators Giles and O’Keefe.

Old media is astoundingly silent on the extraordinary accomplishments of Giles and O’Keefe. Their story should make them media darlings, with appearances on The View and The Daily Show and The Tonight Show and Meet the Press… but they made one fatal error… they single-handedly destroyed a liberal institution, an institution that has ties to President Obama himself, and for that they are punished with omission.

Old media and the government pretend like they don’t know what happened, but The Beefboy does… and now you do too. I’m proud to make Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe The Beefboy’s first Gladiators of the Moment!

Oh… and by the way. Hannah is hot! Don’t think I missed that either.

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Video: Kanye West Barack Obama Mash-Up

Video: Kanye West Barack Obama Mash-Up

This is brilliant. And very funny.

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Nutsack of the Moment: Kanye West

Nutsack of the Moment: Kanye West

taylor-swift-kanyeKanye West has always been kind of a Nutsack’s Nutsack- a real old-fashioned connoisseur of Nutsackology. But this latest stunt on the MTV Video Music Awards where he grabbed the microphone away from little Taylor Swift and humiliated her on stage, is a whole new low for Kanye.

First off, Kanye is shorter than Taylor Swift, I think she could have taken him… I’m just saying. Secondly, even if you think that Taylor Swift winning that award was unjustified, it’s not her fault! Only a Giga-Nutsack, would ruin Taylor Swift’s moment in front of that crowd and the world. Only a repulsive bottom-feeding egotistical shitball would insert himself into that acceptance speech.

Thanks Kanye West! You’ve lowered the bar on being a nutsack. Again.

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The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Updates for 2009-09-13

The Beefboy’s Funky News Weekly Updates for 2009-09-13

  • New Article: Adolf Hitler Sex Video http://bit.ly/4wciTw #
  • Van Jones gone? It's nice to have at least one less Communist in the White House. #
  • Hey Mr. Smarmy Starbuck's Fuck, don't question my choice of coffee beans because you "know" better. #
  • Obama May Need Sense of Crisis to Revive Health-Care Overhaul – Bloomberg.com http://bit.ly/pLNDh #
  • Advert criticized over "young" partial nude model – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/OC52f #
  • Daily Kos: Olbermann Says Send Me Everything You Can Find About Glenn Beck http://bit.ly/3QzOCG #
  • The Washington Independent » Glenn Beck’s Next Target: Cass Sunstein http://bit.ly/N5tNM #
  • Stone film says U.S. demonizes Chavez, other leaders | Entertainment | Reuters http://bit.ly/mSX3H #
  • My Way News – Venezuela to export gasoline to Iran http://bit.ly/XCcMJ #
  • Cosmic cannibals, an alien abduction and clowns in space – Weird Science – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/dByoP #
  • Florida care-giver was tricked into changing a pervert's diapers, but the law can't help her. – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/A1×3b #
  • Sudanese woman fined for wearing pants, could become human rights case – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/Jxd9W #
  • Why is Nancy Pelosi Protecting Charlie Rangel? | Judicial Watch http://bit.ly/19QIDF #
  • Tila Tequila Hospitalized Following Attack by NFL Star Boyfriend – E! Online http://bit.ly/47pdi #
  • Chick of the Moment: Tila Tequila Needs Your Support | The Beefboy Rants http://bit.ly/Q2wHt #
  • Obama Back To School Speech: FULL TEXT http://bit.ly/yJoCi #
  • Another Shocking Warning About Swine Flu Vaccine http://bit.ly/4Di06g #
  • UN wants new global currency to replace dollar – Telegraph http://bit.ly/X3YMT #
  • Swiss topple U.S. as most competitive economy: WEF – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/1bvLO #
  • Obama space panel says moon return plan is a no go – Yahoo! Finance http://bit.ly/3Q2PmS #
  • Tolkien Trust settles 'Rings' lawsuit – Hobbit film a go – Variety http://bit.ly/exAb1 #
  • Obama Wants a Sin Tax on Sodas – http://bit.ly/5zrSx #
  • New and Improved Photos from Hubble Telescope Expected Wednesday http://bit.ly/2Fddir #
  • Nope! Now Olbermann DOESN'T want Dirt on Beck. Why the Change? – http://bit.ly/1HEXby #
  • Wacknut Nominee Cass Sunstein Believes Animals Should Sue Humans, Contact Your Senator Immediately! – ESPN http://bit.ly/3Lh0uy #
  • How many prime-time speeches and specials is Obama going to have on Health Care? Does he want to be a President or a talk show host? #
  • Does Feminist Porn Really Need Taxpayer Money? The Beefboy would like to pitch in some private funding. – http://bit.ly/137PMB #
  • Republicans Bush and Schwarzenneger Top Mangled English Poll – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/kxlxg #
  • DC Comics becomes DC Entertainment and goes through major restructure – Reaction to Disney's Marvel bid? – http://bit.ly/eOSH9 #
  • Have you tried Arby's roast beef gyro? It haunts me… it's so good. #
  • So, how about giving Obama a nightly talk show on MSNBC? He loves TV! Segments like "Stupid Congress Tricks" practically write themselves. #
  • Congressman wants all 'czars' to testify – It's about time that congress assumes its Constitutional roll – http://bit.ly/qF2kS #
  • Absolutely Breathtaking New Space Photos from Hubble | The Sun |News http://bit.ly/4nOXPJ #
  • Ellen DeGeneres replaces Paula Abdul on "American Idol" – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/NK91w #
  • Zombie master Romero's newest film "Survival of the Dead" targets discrimination – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/3reNui #
  • Robber returns to ask victim on a date – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/hgdSV #
  • To save power, Bangladesh bans suits and ties | csmonitor.com http://bit.ly/13WLAg #
  • Obama's Health Care Speech – What he said, what he meant – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/5qQ0V #
  • FACT CHECK: Obama uses iffy math on deficit pledge – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/U5j8H #
  • Hugh Hefner files for divorce in LA – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/ulSTG #
  • Iraq's New Surge: Gay Killings | Foreign Policy http://bit.ly/yvhRv #
  • Another Day, Another Republican, Another Sex Scandal… with a Lobbyist! – LobbyBlog http://bit.ly/26JE1 #
  • Hottest Female US Open Players – The Huffington Post takes a cue from the Beefboy – (PHOTOS) http://bit.ly/3dUGsE #
  • Ordered "Rules for Radicals" and "The Coming Insurrection" from Amazon.com. Think I'm on a list now? No silly, those are lefty books. #
  • Squeeze my limes. Squeeze The Beefboy's Limes!!! A cherry limeade with limes just thrown in there is rubbish! #
  • Venezuela's Chavez draws closer to Moscow – Basically a shitstorm from every angle – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/1fpdN #
  • Runner is a 'hermaphrodite' | The Sun |News http://bit.ly/1TbbG2 #
  • CNN Poll: Double-digit post-speech jump for Obama plan – CNN stacks the deck with 45% Dems and 18% Republicans – WTF? – http://bit.ly/3tSmn5 #
  • FACT CHECK: Health coverage for illegal immigrants – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/IndJM #
  • ACORN fires 2 after hidden-camera footage aired – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/8QGtN #
  • Police Free 9 Women from fake "Big Brother" house – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/1hXIJO #
  • Van Jones orchestrated plans within the government to "greenwash" the memory of 9/11 – http://bit.ly/T0KdD #
  • Government gears up new tactics to restrict free speech on talk radio and control your browsing on the internet – http://bit.ly/17yqXC #
  • Was "Saturday Night Live" Star Fired for Being Fat | The Wrap http://bit.ly/cTxTD #
  • Yosi Sergant, Administration Aide Demoted: Glenn Beck Strikes Again http://bit.ly/iMm44 #
  • If you liked Inglorious Basterds you should seek out the insightful and funny Adam Corolla podcast with Christoph Waltz. #
  • Census Bureau Drops Acorn From 2010 Effort – Interesting that we only get a fraction of the story here – http://bit.ly/kQG36 #
  • NOAA: Summer Temp Below Average for U.S. – 34th Coolest on Record – Global Warming or New Ice Age? Make up your mind! – http://bit.ly/USsg8 #
  • German anatomists plan a new show dedicated solely to dead bodies having sex – Yahoo! News – http://bit.ly/A1zzW #
  • History of Heckling a U.S. President and examples around the world – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/103DwA #
  • Depp back for new 'Pirates' film coming in 2011 – Yahoo! News http://bit.ly/BMGwL #
  • Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov: Norway's Longest Name? http://bit.ly/pzF6f #
  • Michael Savage Dropped From "Flagship" Radio Station http://bit.ly/4y6SCt #
  • Photos: Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page Kiss | The Beefboy Rants http://bit.ly/XIV03 #
  • Photos: Naked Twitter with Katy Perry, Lindsay Lohan and Adrianne Curry | The Beefboy Rants http://bit.ly/WLY6D #
  • New Article: Video: "Kate Is Enough" from Jimmy Kimmel http://bit.ly/TQWc6 #

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Video: “Kate Is Enough” from Jimmy Kimmel

Video: “Kate Is Enough” from Jimmy Kimmel

I love this take on Jon and Kate Plus 8!

Dig it! George Takei bitches!!!

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Chick of the Moment: Tila Tequila Needs Your Support

Chick of the Moment: Tila Tequila Needs Your Support

Tila Tequila

Tila Tequila

Tila Tequila is in the news for all the wrong reasons right now (through no fault of her own). Well, the Beefboy hates to see anyone that hot in distress, so I’m encouraging the Beefanatics to go visit her sites and show her some support. If you’re not familiar with Tila, then first, turn off the NASCAR channel and get a life, and next check her out on her own personal site and her MySpace page where she became famous in the first place (an MTV dating series didn’t hurt her popularity either).

Tila Tequila’s sites and some photos are below.

Tila Tequila’s Hot Spot
Tila Tequila’s MySpace Page

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Adolf Hitler Sex Video

Adolf Hitler Sex Video

AIDS groups are condemning an anti-AIDS advertisement that shows Adolf Hitler having sex without a condom. This steamy ad, which is far beyond anything that could be shown on regular television, has the tag line “AIDS is Mass Murder”.

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-09-06

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-09-06

1984-movie-bb

  • Just watched "1984" on Netflix. It was beautifully bleak, and amazingly prescient of the times we live in. Big Brother is watching you. #
  • College football gets me all wee-wee'd up! #
  • Why is a 40-year-old woman who dates younger called a "cougar" and a man who does the same called a "pervert?" #
  • Why Twitter Scares The NFL – http://bit.ly/wSYhC #

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