I recently had an occasion where I had to wear a dress shirt and tie for a few hours. Every time I wear a tie I can’t help but think about all of those sci-fi movies and TV shows where everyone just wears a plain jump suit. Han Solo’s outfit didn’t even have buttons! In the past, men used to wear stupid fucking frilly shirts, an ascot, a jacket and a wig. A WIG!

It seems like to me we’re somewhere between the Victorian Age and Star Trek: The Next Generation on dress codes. Yes, styles in general have calmed down. People don’t dress up to get on a flight anymore; they mostly don’t dress up for church or to go out to eat. Even the workplace has slowly acquiesced to The Casual Day. However, one superfluous item has remained omnipresent, even now. That item is the tie.

Please tell the Beefboy what purpose the tie serves! It’s a strip of fabric you wench around your neck. It doesn’t add any protection, or warmth and it does nothing for the integrity of your shirt. It’s just a fucking strip of material that hangs there. Get it?!!

Fashion evolution from the wig wearing days has eliminated a lot of bullshit, but for some reason the tie lives on. Women don’t have to wear a tie (so much for equality), so they are out of this discussion. As a man, I can tell you that wearing a tie is most closely described as wearing a noose around your neck all day. It constricts your movement and your breathing. It’s hot. But mostly, it’s just useless.

Then again, while wearing my tie, I walked out of a building and a particularly fine young flatbelly caught my eye, smiled and asked how I was doing today. They treated me totally different at the bank too. So, okay, it’s a shortcut to respect. People figure that if you’re wearing a strip of fabric for no reason, then you must be holding some position of power. But then again, it also has the potential to propagate a lie about your stature. Wouldn’t it be better if we judged people by their accomplishments instead of their ability to put strips of fabric around their neck?

After all, Captain Picard wore that silly two-tone jumpsuit and everyone respected his authority just fine.

Dig it!
- The Beefboy
Unofficial Disinformation Czar for the Obama Administration
Over Five Million Hits a Month and Growing!!!
Leave a comment for me below.

Related posts:

1. The Beefboy is Worldwide Baby!
2. Bikini Idol
3. I’m here!
4. The Beefboy Rants Achieves Five Million Hits a Month
5. Adrianne Curry Announces She Plays World of Warcraft Naked… and Proves It!
6. The Tea Party
7. Obama Stop Fucking Bowing!
8. Black Helicopter Talk with The Beefboy
9. Did Demi Moore Play Body Snatcher on W Magazine? (Photos)
10. Dating Service for Married People