June 19, 2008

- I just heard President Bush ask Congress to allow drilling off shore.  However, he could rescind an Executive Order, enacted by his daddy, which would allow off shore exploration.  Why the fuck would Bush stand in front of the press and the world, and then not take the LEAD and at least do his part? 

Once again, we have no fucking leaders.  We have a bunch of empty suits who prefer to flap their gums while we pay $4.00 a gallon for gas.  Screw them! Screw them all!  We need solutions!  The Beefboy has them… read on Beefanatics.

Here is the most important article the Beefboy has ever written- The Oil Problem... Solved. Yes, the Beefboy has solved high gas prices, but you have to read the article first, and there's a test at the end!

June 13, 2008

- Anyone who reads my stuff regularly probably already knows that I'm a News Nerd. I'm the guy who gets up early on Sunday morning to watch Meet the Press like most guys watch the NFL. Tim Russert, my favorite jounalist... maybe the last great journalist, died today.

What I liked most about Russert is that he gave hell to both sides of the political spectrum. In an age where most "journalists" wear their bias on their sleeve like a badge of honor, Russert managed to rise above and demonstrate to everyone what being unbiased looked like.

He had a good sense of humor and came across as a great guy. I would have liked to have sat down and had dinner with Tim. I won't get that chance and that's my loss.

I shudder to think who NBC (the National Barack Channel) is going to get to "replace" Russert. He was the only thing that stood between NBC and total gay love for Obama and anything else left of center. If Meet the Press is helmed by Chris Mathews or Keith Olberman, last week will be the last time I watch my favorite show.

June 12, 2008

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom.  Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'

The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday..'

The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.' 

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'

One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?'

The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'

The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.'

The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.  And he hasn't done too bad either... His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.'

June 11, 2008

- I just saw that Nick Cannon got a huge, and the Beefboy means HUGE, tattoo of Mariah Carey’s first name on his back (above)… in ornate letters.  Now while I don’t have a problem with ink in general, under no circumstances should you ever… EVER… get some chick’s name stamped on your back like a fucking billboard! 

Why didn’t he just get “Pussy Whipped” tattooed on his back!  Maybe he’d like to walk around in a collar with a leash! 

Seriously. 

I’m going to bust my guts laughing at Nick “Chump-Stain” Cannon, when those two break up. 

The clock is ticking…

- Congratulations to Barack Obama for winning the longest and most expensive primary EVER.  No matter what happens from here, there is no denying that America has nominated its first black candidate for President… so congratulations to us as well. 

I will give Obama two things in particular that I like about him.  He is an incredibly gifted orator… probably the best since Ronald Reagan.  And after the past eight years of a stammering and dispassionate chief executive, someone who has mastery over the English language would be welcome. 

I’d also like to point out that everyone wants to dogpile on Obama because he hasn’t been a Beltway politician all his life.  I think that’s a huge plus!  Look at what the “experienced” nutsacks in Washington D.C. have given us!  They have fucked things up so incredibly, you can only conclude that destroying this nation is part of their agenda! 

I have a shitload of problems with Obama, but today, I’m going to let my thoughts on him stand as is. 

- Let me tell you where Jeff Bezos of Amazon.com is wrong and the Beefboy is right.  Electronic books will NOT replace paper books unless there is some sort of catastrophic shortage of trees, and we can manufacture paper from other sources anyway. 

I hate reading off my computer monitor all the time.  Why the fuck would I welcome reading an ENTIRE BOOK from a screen?  Are you a masochist?  Do you love eyestrain?  Then by all means read a book from a LCD screen.  How many times have you had your computer go tits up and you’ve lost everything on it?  Books in a bookcase will be there forever, unless you have a fire, and that’s taking your hard drive with it as well. 

There is no replacement for the tactile and olfactory sensations of holding a book.  A book is already portable.  Books have not changed fundamentally for over 500 years.  I’m willing to accept that some people will read things on a tablet, just like some people will choose to have sex in Second Life… but nothing beats the real thing baby!

June 9, 2008

- Any one who watches "The Great American Dog" on CBS should immediately lose their right to vote.

- Hungry?

June 2, 2008

- Here's a good indicator that no one uses cash anymore. The Beefboy handed a cashier exact change and SHE LAUGHED! We're closer to a cashless society than you might think Beefanatics.

June 1, 2008

- The CBS broadcast of Elite XC's MMA bouts were hardly a blow to rival UFC. In fact, the laborious pace of the show was an insult to the fast pace of MMA matches. While the broadcast team was adequate and a couple of the fights were decent, the main event match was a snore festival.

The best match of the show on Saturday night was the girl-fight against Gina Carano (above) and Kaitlin Young. Both fighters put on a great match, with some of the best martial arts I've seen in the cage, and some serious power and aggression. Those pansy men who fought on Saturday could have learned a thing or two by watching these two throw down.

And wow! Gina Carano not only got the win, but knocked out the Beefboy's heart. She's smokin' hot too! As it turns out, she's also Crush on American Gladiators.

You can expect a Beefboy Gallery with her VERY SOON!

May 23, 2008

- Instead of playing the fantasy movie "An Inconvenient Truth" to a young generation of school age children, why don't we show them a documentary that will actually help them in life? The Beefboy suggests Morgan Spurlock's "Maxed Out" which correctly focused on the housing bubble before it happened and details the credit crisis for both individuals and the government.

Hell, why don't you watch that movie WITH your kids? It beats the fuck out "High School Musical 3"... or whatever number they're on!

May 20, 2008

- It's my birthday bitches!

- I fucking love this bit from Carlos Mencia.

May 16, 2008

- I'm in a strange mood. Maybe it's because I'm not feeling so great tonight, or because I read too damn much, or maybe because Battlestar Gallactica is going out so fucking strong and dealing with such incredible existential shit that the Beefboy is thinking a lot about THE BIG PICTURE.

With that thought, I have two stories for you tonight.

- Scientists in China have video of snakes and toads that were going nuts two days before the earthquake there. Plenty of scientists think it's bullshit, but in 373 B.C. historians recorded that rats, snakes and weasels abandoned the Greek city of Helice before it was devastated by an earthquake. After the 2004 tsunami in Asia, officials reported a low number of animal casualties because herds of antelope, elephants and deer fled to the hills before the tidal wave hit.

Time and time again, evidence points to animals having an inexplicable sense of danger, and consistently, scientists have dismissed this evidence as coincidence.

- The Pioneer spacecraft, launched in the early 70's, are both off course by a quarter of a million miles. These craft have gone further than any other thing created by human hands. The Pioneer spacecraft have left our solar system, but they continue, after nearly 40 years, to teach us new things about the universe we live in.

The problem is that given a laundry list of probable causes, scientists can not account for the reason that the Pioneer spacecraft are off course by so much. NASA was about to throw away piles of ancient computer files tracking data from the Pioneer when one scientist named Dr. Slava Turyshev, following up on the work of Dr. John Anderson, rescued the information and formed a group to research the data.

Whatever is affecting the probes, whether it is dark matter or is something else, it's calling into question Newton's Law of Gravity. As Dr. Turyshev says, "If Newton is wrong, Einstein is wrong too."

The Beefboy says if Einstein is wrong, then so is Hawking. So is everyone else. We may be feverishly clinging to a set of rules that at the very least, are woefully inadequate for explaining what's happening around us, and at the very worst, may be fundamentally flawed at their core.

Stop. Think.

Everything you know is wrong.

May 12, 2008

- Holy nuts ahoy!  Iron Man kicked the shit out of Speed Racer on opening weekend.  Speed Racer was a distant second at 20 million to Iron Man who still has the pole position at 50 million!  Who would have seen that coming?  Iron Man may hold on to the top spot until Indiana Jones nods next week! 

If Hulk doesn’t tank then you can expect Marvel to drag every silly superhero they own to the big screen.

- This clip of Bill O'Reilly flipping out is FANTASTIC!!!

May 11, 2008

- The Beefboy went to see Iron Man finally and I have to admit that I’m impressed.  You can clearly see that this movie was made by people who love and respect the source material that inspired the movie.  The cast was excellent.  In fact, how many Oscar nominated actors are in the cast?  Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrance Howard, Jeff Bridges and Samuel L. Jackson have all had their accolades over the years and they are all on target here. 

The movie is fun and delivers on effects, but has a solid human framework.  Using my buddy Scott’s measurement of a “comic movie that’s like an actual comic book”, I’d say Iron Man ranks as one of the very best. 

You can see the influence of Marvel producing the movie (more below).  It was nice to see a superhero movie made without the typical Hollywood pandering to eight year-olds.  They are also setting up a very interesting crossover movie universe which is very exciting. 

Kudos all around.

- Speaking of Gwyneth Paltrow (above), has she ever looked better in a movie? I think I have an Iron Man in my pants! 

- Speed Racer is only the first of several anime inspired movies coming to your theater.  Steven Speilberg got a hold of Ghost in the Shell and M. Night Shyamalan is doing Avatar as The Last Airbender. 

The best animated movie of all time, Akira, was snatched up by, of all people, Leonardo DiCaprio, (no I'm not shitting you) who plans to make two live action feature films out of the property. 

I’m confident that Speilberg and Shyamalan are going to turn in first class films, but if fucking Leonardo DiCaprio screws up Akira then it's him and the Beefboy in the Octagon!

- One of the things I learned while looking into this summer’s movies is that Marvel Entertainment Group, who gave us Iron Man and Hulk and The Fantastic Four and Spider-man and Blade, recently became a production studio. 

That means instead of licensing their intellectual properties to other companies, they are producing their own movies.   For one thing, it means that Marvel gets to pocket all that sweet lucre their characters have been making in the market. 

The most important thing is that Marvel knows a hell of a lot more about how to present their characters than Hollywood does.  I expect Marvel to not talk down to their audience, like we usually get with superhero fare.  If they play their cards right, both Marvel and the audience will be well rewarded for this intelligent move.

They are certainly off to a great start with Iron Man.

- Why do meteorologists tell you what to wear during their forecasts?  If they give you the temperature, wind speed and chance of precipitation then I’m thinking that most of us can figure out what to wear on our own!  I’m mean, I’m an adult right? 

I have at least a couple of decades of experience in dressing my own ass… if they are doing their job right, I can probably work out the details. 

April 30, 2008

- Who caught all the Briefcase Babes on Deal or No Deal dressed in the Princess Leia slavegirl outfit?  Those chicks have never looked hotter.  I think the Beefboy has had a few dreams like that…

I've included a clip from that show AND I also ran into a clip and photos of Yvonne Strahovski from Chuck dressed like Leia!

- So now Reverend Wright is saying an attack on him is an attack on black churches.  Well, wouldn’t that be convenient?  That would mean that if you attach Reverend Wright because he’s a fucking America hating moonbat nutsack, then you’re a RACIST. 

Well fuck you Reverend Wright.  You can call me anything you like.  I don’t really give a shit.  You are an angry socialistic elitist and you could single-handedly take down Barack Obama’s chances at the Presidency simply because of arrogance, stupidity, a hunger for publicity and GREED. 

You see, Wright is just another Race Pimp, whoring the same old shit to people who deserve a hell of a lot better!  Obama has finally done what he should have done months or years ago, and that’s throw Reverend Nutsack under the bus!  According to Reverend Wright that makes Obama a racist too! 

- Why do meteorologists tell you what to wear during their forecasts?  If they give you the temperature, wind speed and chance of precipitation then I’m thinking that most of us can figure out what to wear on our own! 

I’m mean, I’m an adult right?  I have at least a couple of decades of experience in dressing my own ass… if they are doing their job right, I can probably work out the details. 

April 28, 2008

I don't know if the new Speed Racer movie is going to suck balls or not, but visually, it looks pretty fucking amazing!

April 27, 2008

Who said you can't find love on the internet?

April 26, 2008

Check out Vin Diesel... busting a move, bitch!

- The Beefboy has been AWOL lately due to my recent trip to Belgium.  Of course, I can’t take a trip to Europe without a few observations.

- They really know how to take a shit in Belgium.  In the Brussels airport they have individual rooms with doors to take care of your business.  Only Senator Larry Craig would be disappointed with that! 

When you flush a toilet there is an amazing cascade of water… like we used to have in America until some vegetarian weasel decided that we needed to waste less water when we flushed… thus forcing us to flush the toilet 18 times to get the same effect and conversely using even more water! 

Finally they have the French Bidet.  Nothing like a refreshing spritz on your nutsack to get your day going right!

- Speaking of nutsacks.  I got stuck between some Eurotrash tool who thought he was going to hog the arm rest for the entire flight (The Beefboy doesn’t think so Captain Croissant!) and some moonbat crone who was ready to ape bonkers and wouldn’t sit the fuck still! 

That flight was eight hours long over the Atlantic and I wasn’t in any mood to put up with their shit.  Before we touched down I was ready to drag the tool’s ass to the little airplane bathroom and shove him down that toilet hole, and make the crone a member of the anal mile high club!

- Besides that my trip was fantastic and holy nuts ahoy… the chicks in Belgium are smoking hot!

April 12, 2008

- The Beefboy has been inundated with a lot of “thanks so much” from chicks lately.  It’s typically delivered with a saccharine sincerity that belies their disdain for even something simple… like saying “thank you”. 

Tell you what, keep your “thanks so much” and just blow me.  At least then I know how sincere you are.

- Look, I think we need to separate the Olympics from the politics of China.  Yes, clearly China’s government is populated by a bunch of socialist punks who strong-arm countries that should be given independence (like Tibet and Taiwan).  We know this. 

If you don’t like China, stop giving them nuclear and rocket secrets and stop taking campaign contributions from China (Hillary).  If you don’t like China, then we need to be working to strengthen the dollar, establish energy independence and kick their ass when they send our kids toys dipped in lead paint!  If you don’t like China then you need to be taking steps right now to make a stronger America, a stronger European Union, a stronger Japan, a stronger Australia and stronger democracies worldwide. 

China is flush with money from economic and industrial expansion, but make no mistake, they have retained their old ways of censorship, human rights abuses (real human rights abuses, not the silly shit that people complain about in the civilized world), political oppression and designs on worldwide domination.  Does that scare you?  It should. 

On the other hand, using the Olympics to punish China does absolutely nothing to achieve that goal and ends up punishing the athletes who have worked day and night for four years in preparation for these games.  Should we call China on their bullshit?  Of course!  But we should be doing it every day of every year, not just this summer.

Finally, even though I think we should allow our athletes to go over there and compete, I think Bush going over there to play grab-ass with the ChiComs is fucking absurd. (Hey, Hillary and I agree on something!) He should be staying home and watching the competition on TV, just like the rest of us. That would send the proper message.

April 9, 2008

- Oklahoma Republican State Representative Sally Kern recently said, ”The homosexual agenda is destroying this nation. It's just a fact. ... I honestly think it's the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam," and then went on a diatribe about how the Bible backs her up.

The Beefboy is trying hard to remember the last time the “gay agenda” hijacked three jets and flew them into buildings killing 3000 people.  Perhaps, Miss Kern can refresh my memory of when the “gay agenda” slit reporter’s throats on camera, or killed a cartoonist because of a drawing, or wired up mentally challenged women as living bombs.  In fact, the worst things I can blame on the “gay agenda” are several successful seasons of Dancing with the Stars, and low rise jeans for men.

Sally Kern is a good example of someone who speaks phenomenal ignorance with indignant authority. Her words not only show her own biases but also denigrates a very real threat.

And by the way, her supporters say this is a freedom of speech issue. I'm all for freedom of speech. I don't for one second deny Sally Kern's right to say all the stupid shit she wants to... and I'll be glad to exercise my own freedom of speech and call her a dimwitted Bible-humping nutsack!

April 5, 2008

- In the Beefboy's Forum my buddy Shawn suggests USFL Linebacker Lester "Mighty Rasta" Speight, or Terry Tate from the Reebok commericals (thanks Scott), for the role of B.A. Baracus in the new A-Team movie. After watching this commercial, I think he's got a great pick!

April 4, 2008

- Tonight is the beginning of the end.  Sci-fi runs the first episode of the last season of Battlestar Gallactica (Katee Sackhoff out of character above).  We’re going to be knee deep in new cylons and supposedly finding Earth this season.  I sincerely hope that they can keep up the high level of excellence and completely go out on top with this series. 

- Master of the “Art of Dumbass,” Ted Turner, tells us that the Earth’s temperature will go up by 8 degrees in 30 years and that we will all be dead or cannibals by that time.  This is, of course, completely concocted from Ted’s poor crippled mind.  Once again, I’d like to point out that you can measure the value of your cause (in this case Global Warming) by the company you keep.

- Speaking of Global Warming, Have you noticed that “Global Warming” has become “Global Climate Change”?  Wonder why?  Well… there are two reasons why.  Research is now pointing to the fact that the Earth is actually cooling and calling it “Global Warming” when the Earth is going through global cooling is not good for marketing.

The bigger reason is that calling Al Gore’s religion of “Global Climate Change” means that whether the temperature goes up, or goes down, or stays the same, he can complain that we’re the cause of it! Meanwhile, Al Gore can continue to lie to the public so he can funnel fat wads of cash to his green hedge fund and his carbon offset company. 

I think that the Beefanatics are far more intelligent than the standard web surfers and will take the time to look this stuff up on their own and make an informed decision. For all the rest of the sheeple out there… wake the fuck up! Just follow the money my friends.

April 2, 2008

- Doomsday (above) gave me everything I wanted.  It felt a lot like the sci-fi movies from the 70’s and 80’s, set in a post-apocalyptic world and filled with action.  However, this was no “B” movie.  The production was top notch.  I was impressed with the pacing and creativity in Doomsday. 

It owes a lot to Mad Max and Escape from New York, but it manages to find its own way too.  Rhona Mitra was great as the lead and where the hell did she come from?  She’s smokin’ hot!  I need to see a lot more of her immediately. 

If you like End of the World Sci-fi like the Beefboy, then you need to get out and see Doomsday before it’s out of the theater!

- Government and religion are bad enough, but even worse is government and environmentalism… a religion unto itself.  We’ve had two recent circumstances where the environmental moonbats in congress have fucked up things by trying to “fix” something that’s not a problem. 

We just went into an expanded period of “Daylight Savings Time”, which was marketed by congress as a way to save energy.  Two different studies, one domestically, and one in Australia (they’re doing the same dumb thing down under) have proven that energy expenditure actually WENT UP when you fucked around with the time.  Which means the last two weeks that I’ve spent trying to get used to getting up an hour early was absolutely a waste of time AND a waste of energy! 

Next, let’s take a look at the attempt by congress to force us into using ethanol to save the environment.  Congress has legislated that a certain amount of gas must be made from ethanol, presumably to “save the environment”.  Last weekend the Wall Street Journal published an article that cited recent academic studies that proved a link between the production of ethanol and an INCREASE in carbon emissions over fossil fuels.  Yes, you read that right, the production of ethanol creates more carbon than oil! 

So, besides causing more carbon emissions, we’re also driving up the cost of food because ethanol is currently made from corn and other food like beets and sugar cane! Like the cost of your food lately? Thank your local member of Congress!

Since man-made Global Warming is a steaming pile of bullshit anyway, what do you say we get out of the business of saving the fucking planet and get Congress into the business of saving our fucking nation!

Dig it!